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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26702221">Unforgiven</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pheenic/pseuds/Pheenic'>Pheenic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Final Fantasy XIV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bad end, Body Horror, Corruption, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Horror, Nightmares, Patch 5.0: Shadowbringers Spoilers, Suicide Attempt, it literally starts with body horror, like seriously</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:53:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,545</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26702221</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pheenic/pseuds/Pheenic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hollow. Broken. Desperate. After all this time, is this really how she is meant to be?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Unforgiven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Should I probably sleep on this to make sure I'm 100% okay with the final product? Yes, but I want to be done thinking about this. So here we are.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She thought that it was all over when she stopped spewing out liquid light, that she would just fade out of consciousness and become oblivious to the transformation looming close. Her hope was quickly proven wrong.</p><p>As if she was put into a boiling pot of oil, she felt her skin slowly melting off her flesh, her bones creaking and snapping, readying itself to be reborn. Every passing second was worse than the last. All she can do is scream. Scream for the life she is losing, for the ones she holds dear, for mercy from Hydaelyn herself. To the man who just wanted to go home. She just wants the pain to stop.</p><p>As if someone was answering her pleas, with a sudden snap in the neck, it stopped. Its face, with a deep crack splitting down the middle, is now frozen in time. The mouth is agape from the last cries of life. The once golden eyes of the Miqo’te gloss over white, dripping tears of light excess. The skin no longer light grey, but white as the heavens above and solid as the earth below. Kneeling on the ground now is just a mere shell, waiting for metamorphosis. It looks up to an approaching figure, who in return kneels down and puts his hand on its broken, plastered face.</p><p>“Now, that wasn’t so hard was it, Hero?” he gives it a tap on the cheek before continuing forward. Before the shell can watch him go, a sudden warmth envelops them. In response, it curls up and gives in to the embracing light, as it is time to be forgiven. </p><p>What would’ve been painful moments ago unfolds with ease. In the cocoon, they morph and grow into their new form. Hands and feet turn into paws, the crack from earlier continues down the neck to complete the break and splits into two with new heads growing from the old. After several moments they are complete and the final Lightwarden; Monaxia - Forgiven Solitude is born.</p><p>With two mighty roars, they force themselves out of the shell, shaking the feathers off with the full force of their body. They look down and see nine figures half their size standing before them. They sense that the lone one before them is also among their kind, but the other eight after him are not. Their first prey.</p><p>The lone man looks up upon the bleached panther with wide-open arms, laughing. “Now isn’t she <em> beautiful </em>!” he gloats as he starts turning to the group behind him, “Truly, a perfect form for the beast she is, wouldn’t you agree?” </p><p>With a spear in hand, the dark-skinned Hyur steps up and screams, “<em> You fucking bastard</em>. You’ll pay for this.”</p><p>The theatrical man laughs and shrugs, “What <em> I’ve </em>done? No, you all brought this upon yourselves.” Monaxia senses the fellow eater’s energy, it's time for a hunt. They let out another dual roar, signaling to the lessers it is time to feast. The Hyur below jumps back, steadying herself for a fight.</p><p>“Oh, Xala…”</p><p>The gunbreaker steps up next to her, reloading his blade, “Synnove, if it is of any help, The Lightwarden before us is no longer our dear friend.” he stammers, “We’ll be doing her a mercy.” She gives a curt nod before turning to the rest to beckon them forth. One straggled a little behind, a shorter Elezen cloaked in red. In the end, she readied herself all the same.</p><p>“You are all really that eager to take down your friend? Your Savior?” He points to the Miqo’te Red Mage, “You’re own Mother?” </p><p>The Miqo’te looks down, hiding the anger upon his face, “I was never meant to come to the past, to actually meet her. To feel her love for her friends and family… for me,” He takes a deep breath, “The beast before us is a mockery to who she really is, and I won’t hesitate to strike it down.”</p><p>The greying man just rolls his eyes, “So this how you all want to die?” The group only stares back, ready for a fight. He scoffs, “Well then…” with a snap of his fingers, the Lightwarden crouches down, preparing to lunge. “Who am I to deny you what you want? ” He gives the group one final wave before disappearing to the void.</p><p>Taking that as a signal, the panther pounces to the field. Their feet electrifying the ground beneath them. The Elezen quickly puts up a healing ward on the group, making the initial shock unnoticeable. Despite that, the effect lingers, slowly effecting the group over time. Several shots hit the right’s head, grabbing both attention to the source. </p><p>In retaliation, the left head leans to the ground and with its frost breath, tries to freeze the area in front of it. The Sorceress and the gun wielder aptly jumps out of the zone. While the head is distracted, the Dragoon and the Elezen Red Mage lunge for its eyes. The lance penetrates its goal, causing it to spurt out white blood. The raiper misses but quickly recovers as she uses the left head as a boost and hits the Right’s eye on the mark.</p><p>Monaxia’s ice head promptly shakes off the Hyur and digs its maw into the young Elezen. Her blood fills its mouth as it bites down harder. Her cried ring deaf on their ears, along with the rest of them below. Their first prey. Ice shakes the body around before tossing it aside. One of the others, an Elezen with similar looks, bolts towards the fallen. </p><p>“Alisaie!” he cries out. The girl, somehow still alive, slowly gets up and puts pressure on her wounds.</p><p>Weakly she responds, “I-I’m fine Alphinaud! I-I-I’m…” Her words cut off as she goes into a coughing fit. After a few coughs, white blood splatters at her feet. “Oh no...”</p><p>The brother stops in his tracks, hands covering his mouth in horror, “No… No!” Her transformation is going to begin. Monaxia let out another call, to bring them forth to the hunt.</p><p>However, the girl in red had other plans. Still grasping her wound, she picks up her rapier off the ground and points it to her abdomen. With tears turning to light she looks to her brother and cries, “I’m sorry Alphinaud… You’ll have to finish this without me.” She takes a deep breath and… and... and... </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The taste of blood turned to the putrid taste of stomach acid. Before she has a chance to truly wake up, Xala jumps out of her bed and dashes to the nearest bucket in the room. Immediately, she kneels down and empties her already empty gut. Her eyes closed and drowning in tears, too afraid to look at what brought up. </p><p>“Mephina please, not now. Please not now.” she cries under her breath. It's been three months since Amaurot, three months since almost turning into a Lightwarden. They won. They won and not one of her friends were harmed. But then why does she feel like she’s gonna turn at any moment like she is still the monster in her dreams?</p><p>A voice breaks through the empty. “Xala, are you quite alright there?” It’s Thancred. </p><p>‘Shite, if he thinks there’s something wrong he’ll tell ‘Shtola…” the Keeper wipes away the sweat and tears from her face before facing him with the best mask she can put up. “I’m fine.”</p><p>The Hyur narrows his eyes and crosses his arms, “Really now? Most people who are that intimate with a bucket are usually not fine.”</p><p>Her mind races, trying to figure out a good lie to get him off her back. It's pretty hard considering that out of all the Scions, he has known her the longest. He knows a good amount of her deflections. Then it hit her, he doesn’t know about what the corruption has done to her. Krile would never break that promise. </p><p>“You’ve traveled with Ryne for how long? And you still don’t recognize when a woman is in her phase?” she lies through her teeth.</p><p>His face is hit with an intense blush from embarrassment, “O-oh! I’m terribly sorry. Do you need anything? I could probably find some sweets in the dining hall if you want.” </p><p>Xala shakes her head, “No no, I just…” she props herself up against the wall, “I just need to freshen up.” Still red in the face, he nods and goes off to his own business. As soon as he’s out of earshot, she sighs, “Thank the Twelve.” She glances down at the bucket. To her relief, it is not the pure white she was fearing. The purple Miqo’te grabs it by the handle and takes it with her to the washroom. </p><p>After rinsing the bucket free of her acids, she goes to the sink and runs the cold water. Xala rubs the sweat from her arms, neck, and face. She looks up to the mirror, a flash of Monaxia’s Shell reflects back. The brief sight of sets her off, causing her ears to pin down and to pounce backward. As she does that, her feet loses grip of the ground and slips onto the hard floor.</p><p>Laying on the ground, sore from the fall, she sobs,</p><p>“Why can’t I be alright?”</p>
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